How do you feel about having an online presence?
Happy, relaxed, calm and in control? Many heart-centred solopreneurs feel the exact opposite, and come out in a cold sweat at the thought of making themselves visible online…
This is a crying shame as they are effectively hiding the very talents they dearly wish to share with the world, so that they can be of service to those that need them the most.
So where does this fear come from?
If you are providing a service built out of a passion it’s got to be close to your heart…
Most solopreneurs I work with run businesses that are intrinsically linked with who THEY are as people.
So you are not just putting your business out there, you are putting the very essence of yourself out there too. And this can feel uncomfortable. It can bring up fears around rejection, failure, or even success. You are putting yourself on the line…I know how scary that is as I’ve been there too.
For almost a year I felt paralysed about my business. I knew the direction I’d been going in no longer fit, but every time I attempted to figure out how to change it, I became like a “deer in headlights” and couldn’t move.
It was only when I gained clarity that I was able to see the source of this overwhelm…too much information
The more I felt stuck the more I tried new and different methods to get unstuck. I took a number of different psychometric tests to work out my personality type and my strengths – to help me get clear on whom I could best serve and how. Unfortunately I ended up more confused then ever as there were just too many things to consider!
I needed simplicity – an easy process to get clear on who were my tribe, my perfect offer, and how to market it effectively. (Thank goodness I discovered Passion to Profit run by Corrina Gordon-Barnes of You Inspire Me – this course was my saviour last Autumn as it provided me with a step-by-step process to get from where I was to where I wanted to be – easily).
Perfectionism = paralysis
And guess what? Until I felt clear I simply wanted to hide…I didn’t want to be seen as someone who didn’t know what they were doing.
Yep, it came back full circle…
…but let’s face it who ever does have everything completely sorted out in business (or life for that matter?)
So rather than get completely overwhelmed trying to be the most perfect version of yourself, simply show up authentically for your tribe. They will respect you and love you for it, honest!
Over to you
Do you have perfectionist tendencies too, and how have they stopped you from being visible online? Please share your stories in the comments – I can guarantee you are not alone, and your insights will be super valuable to other heart-centred solopreneurs.
Is fear stopping you from getting online? Do you hear yourself saying “I wish I loved my website” but don’t know where to start so that it really reflects you and your unique offering ? Find out how I can help, and the services I offer.
Photo credit: Death to the Stock Photo
Hi Kate,
Love this post. I’m not sure whether I am a proper “perfectionist” but I do get caught up in having to get everything just so and ready before I go live with an idea (as you well know!).
I can get so caught up in the detail and the process too that I lose sight that what I have is in fact absolutely fine!
“Feel the fear and do it anyway”, and you’re right, people like it anyway!
Glad it resonated Katie. My new mantra, to stop me getting stuck in future will be “perfectionism = paralysis”!
I love your blog and website. I am taking the blogging course now. Still did nothing on my website. I am giving myself permission to slow down. Got lots of things going on with family and my research project and health issues. One day at a time…..just like you said. There is fear about being visible. This blog really addressed that for me. Looking forward to the next one.
Hi Paula
Thank you for stopping by, and I look forward to continuing to connect on Blog for Clients! Glad the fear of visibility resonated – I think it’s a big one for most heart-centred solopreneurs. Have you seen Corrina’s post from last week: http://youinspireme.co.uk/2015/what-stops-you-from-showing-up/? (She uses The Work by Byron Katie as a really interesting model to check out thoughts and how true they really are).
Let’s stay in touch
Kate
I love this post Kate – and can totally relate. I was in a very similiar position a couple of years ago, and am finding myself back there now – last time it was very much about fear of visibility, with a sprinkling of perfectionism…. this time it’s more because I am in big transition and have ALL THE IDEAS in my head and am almost too excited to know where to start…. after looking for answers in all the places you did, I finally realised I just had to retreat, empty my head, and get quiet. A dose of my own medicine needed
Thanks Helen for joining the conversation. Glad you found the space and peace through retreat to get clear. (Funny how often what we teach is just what we need ourselves!)
Hi Kate, I’ve been mulling over this blog for a day or two as I have that fear of visibility (glad to know it’s not just me!) and as well as the perfection element I also feel for me that there’s a little bit going on about commitment. For example if I invest in having my website designed in a certain way then I will be ‘stuck’ with it ‘forever’. So although I may be thrilled with my initial investment as someone who tends to constantly change her mind I’d be worried that I’d committed too soon and would have to start over again, and then again! maybe this is just because I’m at the start of being more visible and deciding exactly what and where I want to go with my self-employment journey. So, at present I limp on with my free website because I’m too scared to commit to anything more right now – even though it’s probably not the best use of my time!
Hi Sally thanks for sharing where you are on our own self-employment journey.
I know what you mean about not wanting to commit to changing your site because your ideas about what you are offering are in flux. I waited on my own for about 10 months and only redeveloped it once I had got clear. How did I know? I followed my intuition and everything just started to flow (whilst on the Passion to Profit journey).
If you have your site built (or build it yourself) using WordPress it is fairly straightforward to change as you can edit the page layout and content simply, and a new logo and professional theme will work wonders for the design side. Nothing is forever remember 🙂
Hi Kate,
I’m a repeater in the Blog for Clients class but keeping a low profile. I like the visual look of your blog (font and the grey background). But what I really wanted to let you know is that I really liked your title- It made me want to read more! Thanks!
Hi Kim, thanks for stopping by. I LOVE what you are doing working to empower “tween” girls through yoga and talking through issues they face. I so wish I’d had someone outside my family at that age I could talk to – your work is invaluable.
(Glad you like the title – it seems to have resonated with a few people. I think all I did was follow the course material from Blog for Clients on the subject, so happy it is working!)
As you know, I’ve struggled with all this too. Someone once wrote, “A job done 80% is better than one not done at all” and I’ve tried to believe this and act upon it – but in my heart I really do want things to be right!
I have this situation at home too – I can’t renovate that until that is sorted or moved, and I can’t move it until someone else says what they are doing with it… you are right – it is paralysing.
You and I are currently embarking on refreshing my website later this summer which you first did for me 3 years ago. I have had lots of great comments about it (and many enquiries too!) so I am very glad we started and finished that one together to such good effect!
Ohhh perfectionist tendencies. Jan I hear you!
Looking forward to working together on your website this summer – that WILL be one project that will be completed 🙂
Great post and sweet reminder that waiting to get it right is a good hint that perfectionism is running the show. Better to try, learn, try again and learn, and get comfortable with the new normal, out of the turtle shell on the way to showing up for the big dream. Thanks Kate!
Thank you Miriam – I love the thought that you will only get comfortable with the “new normal” by trying it out 🙂
Great post, Kate, and one that I’m sure will resonate with the vast majority of your readers, myself included.
As heart-centred business owners with a passion for what we do, the thought of putting ourselves ‘out there’ with something that’s so dear to us inevitably brings up a lot of unresolved ‘stuff’ (technical term) around who we are, what we’re worth, what’s possible or not possible for us in this world.
Which is one of the things I love most about the journey – the parts of us that need healing are constantly being brought up into conscious awareness, so we can give them some new information, give them the reassurance they need, and grow into more of Who We Really Are.
Your clients are lucky indeed to be developing a website with someone who’s sensitive to these challenges.
Thanks for your kind words Linda.
Working with you to uncover what has been stopping me from getting out there as fully as I can has been invaluable. Each session I feel more fully myself. x