Sadly, I never made it to St Magnus Cathedral on Orkney for the funeral of my “second mum” on Wednesday. The intention was there and we got as far as Edinburgh, in the midst of the coldest weather in 40 years at minus 12 degrees.
The last leg of the journey, the flight to Kirkwall never happened…in fact it hadn’t happened for the previous three days either we found out from fellow travellers trying to get home. I still don’t know if a plane ever left Edinburgh Airport that afternoon…
We were supposed to arrive the night before, but that plane was cancelled, so after a night in the Hilton at the airport (we never even made it to Edinburgh city centre – the roads were at a standstill because of ice and snow), we tried again the following morning. The 09:40 was delayed until 10:30, then 11:30, then back to 10:45 (which would have got us to Kirkwall for 11:45 so we would have still been able to get the five miles to the cathedral). Fingers crossed we hoped against hope it wouldn’t be delayed further, but another change on the departure board stated 13:00 (it was now going to be too late, the funeral started at 12:30). In tears we gave up and left voicemail messages sending hugs and love…
My mum met Sally Heddle on the way to the baby clinic when her daughter Elisabeth and I were both tiny, so our families have known each others for 46 years. Liz and I grew up together, and we spent a lot of time around each other’s houses – I can still smell the chocolate sponge cake “Aunty Sally” made (and that Liz can now replicate perfectly). Sally was a gifted musician and music teacher and taught me to sing at school. She was also diagnosed with multiple sclerosis 40 years ago. Liz came home from school and helped her mum out every day after school (I still admire her for that – not something every teenager would be happy about). We sewed white pencil skirts together (it WAS the 70s) with the help of her mum – and even got the “Pernod and black” out with bleach after the big night out (don’t ask we were 15!)
Sally was made an MBE in 1992 for her charity work – being in a wheelchair never stopped her, from her musical activities, to volunteering to help other disabled people learn to sail – she approached everything with determination and a big smile. Earlier this year she faced complex surgery to remove a tumour in her brain with the same tenacity – she is one of only three patients to ever have undergone the operation (while still awake!) at Aberdeen Royal Infirmary.
I heard the funeral was beautiful and exactly how Sally had planned it – I don’t believe I know anyone who lived such a full and purposeful life and touched so many, many people. Sally you will be missed…
Photo credit: Adam Tinworth
A lovely tribute, Kate. I’m so sorry you had such a disappointment at Edinburgh in addition to your great sense of loss.
Jan x
Thanks Jan…and I must say once we realised that there was no way we were going to make it to Kirkwall and, more importantly, accepted that, we could breathe a sigh of relief. I’m learning that acceptance is a super important state of mind…
That’s a lovely tribute Kate. Mum
A fine tribute for a lovely lady.
Thanks for your wonderful words about my mum and the lovely anecdotes.
We all shared your disappointments as we followed your attempt to join us.
Maybe sometime you will be able to completer the trip and visit the islands where she achieved the dream to live beside the sea and for you to enjoy the views she loved.
Thanks Richard – and Mum and I are going to meet up with Liz this weekend which will be lovely. Yes I hope to make it to Orkney one day too. Take care, Kate
We just happened to bump into Mary Bacon yesterday in Westerham and were so sad to learn that Sally had passed away. It is difficult to encapsulate all of Sally’s acheivements but you’ve done a great job, Kate.
Thanks Ross and Jacqui…and a big thank you for taking such good care of my dad when you were his GP 🙂
A journalist from the Times Educational Supplement found my blog post on Sally Heddle and wrote the following article that was published on 18 February 20101. Here is the link: http://www.tes.co.uk/article.aspx?storycode=6070604
Thank you Kate for such a warm and loving tribute to my Mum. I would never have known this existed had it not been for Ines finding it and us talking yesterday.
I know that Mum treasured you and Ros as extra daughters and your Mum’s unfailing friendship helped her through many dark hours.
Love you. x
You are welcome Liz and thanks for your kind words – your Mum touched many peoples’ lives in an amazing way…xx
Amazing Tribute, Thankyou x